Awake at silly o’clock, My family still sleeps. I’m sat on the cold damp decking in my garden cwtching a cup of tea and have my favorite blanket wrapped tightly around me. I sit in silence and listen to the sound of the world waking up. Its all very inspiring and mornings like this do make me smile. But as the day begins and the daily routine kicks in I do find it hard to stay inspired.
I can’t always slip from reality or spend hours meeting new and old friends, pouring over ideas, wondering around the NPG, discovering old photography books in libraries, taking random trips to a deserted beach, and writing….I do miss writing about stuff.
My constant hunt for inspiration continues throughout my day. I now find it in everything that wraps itself around me. My kids, my husband, my life, my work, my friends, my clients, my world.
I also like to watch inanimate things. Its very odd (I know) but when my work revolves around people; I love the fact there are things around me, never moving or never speaking. My old school reports would state “she is a chatterbox with a tendency to daydream” I loved that too.
As cheesy as this sounds (and those that know me well, know how much I hate cheese) Love is a great inspiration to me. Being a hopeless romantic and working with so many couples in love is always a treat. Engagment shoots give me such an insight into a relationship, how they interact with eachother, the connection they have, the sheer excitement they share at the thought of spending the rest of their days together. You can’t help but get lost amounsgst all this and share the enthusiasm as well as start looking at your own life, your own love, family and dreams.
On the flip side of it all I’ve also experienced friends & family falling out of love, having their hearts broken, the realization that the person they’d hoped they would spend the rest of their life with was not in love with them.
There is nothing worse than unrequented love. Its like another friend of mine says, “its the worse kind of love”. Its the only part I don’t photograph. Taking advantage of somebody’s misfortune (in my opinion) is morally wrong which is why I guess, my work revolves around such positive events. The only misfortune I do capture, is what goes on in my own life. Its a reminder to myself that I place in a folder on my desktop. We all experience a loss of some kind of love throughout our lives. I know I have (will save that for my autobiography, if ever I write one).
My hopes and dreams also inspire me. There is still so many things for me to do. For example, I always wanted to live in New York, buy a loft apartment and lock myself away and just paint huge canvas’ as well as have a studio for shoots. I fell in love with the idea of become part of that exciting art world. However, the reality was I fell in love with someone else. He changed my world, my plan, my direction and I couldn’t bear to leave him, so I stayed and adapted my plans.
Then came our first child, our marriage and a second child. Now its time for me to pick up my other dreams and develop my career on my own terms. Controlling the direction and having the creative freedom to perfect your own craft is something anyone chasing a dream should give themselves. I may never move my family to New York but there’s no reason why I can’t hire a loft apartment for a few weeks and live out that original dream hey?
An old friend once told me “The Journey is the Destination” (a quote he borrows from Dan Aldon). He lives by it. At first I didn’t like it. I used to think the idea of it made reaching my goal uneventful. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how right it is. I never dream of winning the lottery, being famous and living happily ever after. I do love chasing a dream and I’m now learning to enjoy every step towards it. Its proving the best inspiration so far and for that, I thank you (you know who you are).
I totally believe that you can have anything you want in this life if you really, REALLY want it. You just have to take those chances, understand it may not happen straight away, let go of the comfort blanket and let the wind and rain knock you about (it really does feel good). There is nothing worse in life than growing older and wishing you tried, said, did, all those things you dreamed about.
Anyhow, enough about my morning ramblings. I can hear little feet running around the house. My kids are awake and my day is about to begin.
Enjoy x
